Written to ground my intentions as I make career decisions (i.e.- quit my job) that will drastically change my current state of living

What Am I Looking For?

Despite asking this question after every positive Hinge encounter, I realized that I hadn’t asked this question in a while for how I wanted to live my life.

For the past two years, I had simply accepted the way of living and prioritized how to pass time versus chasing after what I wanted to do in the first place.

How did we get here?

When I passed the 2 year mark at my current job, I thought to myself “What’s next?“. I came to the realization that it was a question I hadn’t asked myself in several months.

As with all difficult questions (mainly due to the vast unknown of the “future”), I started by reflecting back on how the past 2 years went.

How I spent my time in the past two years / 24 months

  • Started working in February 2022 (WFH in Texas) [Month: 0]
    • Joined my first team
    • Spent every waking hour and weekend learning how to sew
    • Prepared to move to Northern Virginia and picked up knitting
  • Moved in Sept 2022 (Hybrid in Northern Virginia) [Month: 8]
    • Adjusted to NOVA and made several knitting friends online
    • Worked a lot of late hours (conversely, did not work as much during the day)
  • Rotated to a new team in Feb 2023 [Month: 13]
    • Learned a lot about database migration and API development
    • Started getting attached to work and staying at the office til 8pm
    • Team picks up a new project in May 2023
    • Enjoyed the team dynamic and the manager
  • Loaned to another team in July 2023 [Month: 18]
    • First time I began to feel like I was the only one truly dedicated to working on the team
    • Left behind my half-baked design for a project I was leading
    • Picked up two new projects that I had to lead for the next 3 months on loan
  • Moved in Aug 2023 [Month: 19]
    • Distinctly remember walking in the parking garage from my car and felt a rush of anger into my body, which I played off as “taking responsibility and ownership”
  • Returned to first team in October 2023 [Month: 21]
    • Continue to work on the existing project from the first team
    • No real end in sight - lots of drama/politics from leadership
  • Reorg in Jan 2024 [Month: 24]
    • Previous manager leaves the org, morale is low
    • One team member is PIP’d
    • Another team member transfers to a sister team
    • Only two existing team members left

Naturally, all good things come to an end. The second team that I joined provided a team dynamic where every member uplifted each other and the manager supported us dearly despite the unknowns of the project.

TBD